I'm having mind-blowing sex with two men but I can't choose between them

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM having sex with two guys and can’t choose between them.

One guy is amazing and I am totally in love with him — but he’s married. The other is single and I do care about him . . . but I’m obsessed with my married lover.

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I met this brilliant man on a girls’ night out a year ago. Our eyes met and he came over to chat to me.

We ended up going off together — much to my friends’ disbelief. The sex was electric, we started dating and I fell in love.

He is 32 and I am 25. Three months later he admitted he is married and is dad to a little boy. I ended our relationship immediately and was heartbroken.

A month later, he called to say he loved me and missed me. We started seeing each other again and have yo-yoed back and forth ever since.

First he breaks up with me to focus on his marriage, then he comes back because he can’t live without me. I take him back because I can’t resist him. At the same time, this guy who regularly delivered parcels during lockdown is lovely and I have got to see him often. He is the same age as me, single and handsome.

He asked me if I would go for a drink with him once lockdown ended and I agreed.


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We now see each other once or twice a week and often have sex after our date. He’s kind, caring and crazy about me.

I know we could have a good relationship if I allowed myself to commit.

But I am obsessed with my married lover, though I now realise the relationship is toxic and very painful.

I no longer believe he will leave his family for me and I can see us still being in the same place a year from now, or longer.

I will have to be the one to end it once and for all.

I talk myself into doing that but then I hear his voice or feel the touch of his hand on mine and I just melt.

DEIDRE SAYS: You know this man is ultra-damaging for your hopes of happiness in life, so you must make sure you don’t hear his voice or feel his touch. It won’t be easy but that is how to break the spell.

Block him on your phone, your laptop and so on. Tell him not to call round and say you will see any attempt to contact you as cruel. Keep reminding yourself that is true.

He is a nasty player who chose to lure you in before admitting he has a wife and child. If your resolve still melts, my e-leaflet Addictive Love will help.

Your new man sounds to be a much more caring character. But even if you just have sex with him, you need to be mindful of the risks of catching or possibly passing on coronavirus.

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