Since she has the poise of a woman twice her age and is basically her mom Cindy Crawford’s twin, it’s hard to believe that Kaia Gerber is only 18 years old. It’s also hard to believe that she and Pete Davidson broke up in 2020 — like, how is that possible? During an April 24 Instagram Live with Lena Dunham, the model reflected on her three-month relationship with the SNL star, acknowledging that it wasn’t totally healthy. Kaia Gerber’s quote about codependent relationships is seriously wise and, once again, I’m baffled by the fact that she just became a legal adult.
Following her January split with Davidson, Gerber came to the realization that she tends to put a partner’s feelings before her own. "I’ve always kind of been the person who’s like, ‘I’ll let everyone else be sad,’" she told Dunham during their IG chat. That changed for Gerber after she read the self-help book Codependent No More. "Even if you’re not technically codependent, just not allowing your happiness to rely on someone else’s I think is a huge thing," she added. "Because I was like, ‘I’m so independent. I’m good,’ and I was reading that book and I was like, ‘Nope, I am absolutely codependent.’" Relatable AF, no?
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Last week, I went on IG live with baby angel @kaiagerber and we discussed our deep and soul defining love for reading and oh yeah we talked #VerifiedStrangersOnVogue #nbd. Kaia, ily as the kids say, I could have stayed on Live with you for multiple hours but Instagram kicks us out after one! You’re the ultimate breath of fresh air. To have you read Verified Strangers as part of your book club was such an honor, and to hear your takeaways melted my heart :’) Here’s a little summary of what we talked about. ** Chapter 18 is up on Vogue.com now! (link in bio).
It makes even more sense now why Gerber apparently found her relationship with Davidson "overwhelming." As a source reportedly told Page Six back in January, "Pete has a certain M.O. and he’s very intense to his girlfriends. Kaia is only 18 and it’s a lot to deal with." Around the same time, a source told E! News that Davidson was taking some time alone to "work on his mental health," and, understandably, Gerber wasn’t sure if she could handle the responsibility of helping him get through his tough time.
Davidson himself has admitted that he can be a little too intense when he’s dating someone. "My love language, when I’m in a relationship, is I treat the person I’m with like a princess," Davidson explained to Paper Magazine in November 2019, adding that his intensity is sometimes "off-putting." Then, when that devotion isn’t reciprocated, Davidson finds himself feeling slighted. As he explained, "…sometimes when you put so much on someone, it overwhelms them, and then they don’t know if they could come close to that." However, with Gerber, it seems she became overwhelmed by trying too hard to keep Davidson happy and, in the process, neglected her own needs.
While chatting with Dunham, Gerber confessed that she’d often dismissed self-help books in the past because her mom would "constantly" quote them during her childhood. But reading them now, Gerber has discovered that books like Codependent No More can provide an "easy way to make changes in your life to be happier." I, for one, am happy to see Gerber for finally putting herself first, and I hope Davidson has similarly learned to find happiness from within. There may not be a future for these two, but at least the relationship taught Gerber an important lesson in self-care.
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