Whether you’re looking for the one or the one for right now, online dating can be a lot of fun. However, serious admin can go into crafting the perfect first message. Group chats can be consulted and friends may be brought in to pass opinion. So, if you get ghosted even before your flirtation has begun it can feel personal. So, here are some of the best conversation starters for online dating. While everyone is different, experts have suggested there are ways to catch your crush’s eye.
Ensuring that your online dating profile has a range of pictures and information about you can help people when they’re looking for a match. And Adam Lo Dolce, a relationship coach and founder of SexyConfidence.com, told Women’s Health that you can use this information to your advantage.
“A lot of people overly invest their time and energy into sending a message and custom-tailoring it. But at the end of the day, it’s truly a numbers game online,” Lo Dolce said. Try to keep your opening message concise but personal. Mention a band, TV show, or movie in their profile.
“Follow the formula of ‘Comment + Question’,” certified dating coach and host of the Dates and Mates Podcast, Damona Hoffman, told Bustle. “Comment on something you see in their profile that intrigues you then ask a question that requires more than a yes/no response.”
This is an easy tactic but it’s not the only opener you can go with.
Use details to your advantage
When you’re looking for a witty opener, you’re essentially avoiding “Hi. How are you?” There’s nothing wrong with simple conversation starters but they don’t inspire the most intrigue. Bare Dating explains that if a simple opener is much more in your comfort zone then ask them about a picture on their profile. Where was it taken? This could lead to fun conversations about traveling or trips.
Bustle explains that most people include details about their job, any traveling they’ve done, their hobbies and interests, and their taste in TV on their dating profiles. This isn’t purely decorative. Each of these topics holds a whole world of conversation. You could ask where the next place on their bucket list is, what got them into that career, or why they like one comedian over another.
“We find the best opening lines are to the point, trigger a reaction, or are rooted in a good sense of humor,” a representative for Bumble told Glamour. This could mean sliding into the DMs with a funny GIF, thinking of a date-related pun, or rooting out a contentious topic to argue over. Asking whether Ross and Rachel were on a date usually rouses some reaction.
Sending a fun first message is as much about getting a response as it is showing your potential date a little bit of who you are.
The openers that almost everyone can relate to
If your crush’s profile isn’t really giving you an insight into what they love and what they hate then the dating app, Zoosk explains that there are some things that everyone can talk about.
Food and drink is normally a pretty safe place to start, especially if your match has a picture of themselves in a restaurant or bar on their profile. Ask them what the best meal of their life was. What would they eat if they could only eat one thing for the rest of their life? What’s their favorite type of food to cook? It may seem basic but most people can get down to chatting about food.
Similarly, Women’s Health explains that you can get a lot out of where someone is from. Don’t start your conversation by asking your date their address. That will most likely lead to you getting blocked. However, you can ask what state they grew up in, what their favorite thing about their area is, and if they went to school there. It’s more than likely that you’re in a similar area so you can share opinions.
Oprah Daily writes that most people love talking about the people and things they love. By picking up on either one interest or shared point of reference in your opener it’s likely to lead to a long conversation. And once you’ve locked in on a topic, listen to your crush’s responses.
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